Poems

**** (‘Opening an eye…’)

Notes

The translation of Maia Sarishvili’s poem ‘Opening an Eye…’ was broken into two consecutive sessions. In the first, the translator Natalia Bukia-Peters introduced the poet and gave the participants some context to Sarishvili’s poetics. Bukia-Peters also spoke about certain characteristics of the Georgian language, explaining for instance that it is the most widely-spoken of the Kartvelian languages and that it serves as the lingua franca for speakers of related languages. Then we looked at the first thirteen lines of the poem, taking into account some of the poet’s main visual images, including railway-related words (rails, stations, platforms, etc) and parts of the body (eyes, veins, spine, shoulder blades). We spent some time discussing the line from the guide translation 'standing beyond the broken warning line of the spine’, looking at options for ‘broken warning line’ and then settling on ‘hazard-warning line’ after debating on specific street markings terms. We also had an interesting discussion around the line ‘how the weather has rearranged the colours’. The session benefited hugely from having some Georgian speakers in the ‘room', who in this case suggested words like ‘changed’ and ‘shifted’ as being closer to the original. Finally we decided on ‘shifted’. The remaining fourteen lines were looked at in the second session. We decided to respect the poet’s intention of using repeated words (surely, again, all, precisely) to create a sense of musicality and rhythm. There was an interesting discussion around the term ‘bread stoves’, and again, the Georgian native speakers, gave us an insight into specific ovens used in Georgia to bake bread. Some were in favour of leaving the word in Georgian (p’uris ghumeli), others preferred the simpler ‘bread ovens’. We finally settled for the latter option, as we concluded it wasn’t a culturally specific word and that it would be better understood in English. We spent some time discussing the line ‘how to tell the life exemplary behind back stories’ and opted for ‘how to recount what lies behind the model life stories’ after some animated debate (in Georgian and English). We managed to finish the translation on time, and the participants were happy with the final result, as we managed to keep the poet’s voice and maintain her wonderful metaphors and unconventional imagery.

Leo Boix, Workshop Facilitator